Dear James
by Silver Miko
Summary: As she sits on the battlements of Port Royal, Elizabeth writes a letter to the man who died saving her, the man she wronged.


Dear James

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_Dear James,_

_I hardly know where to start. I am writing this as I sit on the battlements of Port Royal, in the very spot you proposed marriage to me. Where everything of that long, strange adventure began. No, that is not accurate, it would be more honest to say it all began those years ago crossing the sea when I was but a girl and saw the Black Pearl for the first time. The night we met Will, the night all our fates crossed. _

_Jack is gone, off on some new adventure with Captain Barbossa and his ship. Will...Will is gone too. He is the new Captain of the Flying Dutchman, it was that or his death and sometimes I wonder which would be worse and yet ten years is not so long compared to forever. It was Jack's rare ever act of selflessness. Will and I married, during the last battle against Beckett who is now dead. _

_Oh James! There are so many things I wish I could say to you and yet the feeling that fills me most is guilt. I am so sorry for so many things._

_I am sorry that I could not love you as you loved me. I did not deserve your love and devotion. You were...even in everything, the most honourable of us all and I am truly not so much of an honourable woman as much as I could pretend._

_I am sorry that I broke my word in marrying you, I am sorry it broke your heart to release me from that promise to be with Will._

_I am sorry you were lost in a storm and lost for so long._

_I am sorry my pride could not forgive you at first for choosing a side._

_I am sorry I asked you to come with too late._

_I am sorry you risked your life to help me escape._

_And I am most sorry that you died saving me, when I did not deserve such a noble act._

_Dearest James! You told me once when I asked what happened to you that 'it was nothing I didn't deserve' but you did not deserve your fate! Were it not for me you would have remained on your path, made Admiral, married a woman who truly deserved you and started a family of your own. Were things different I think I would have rather liked to be that woman. If I had more honor and honesty. If I had not become such a pirate._

_It is sad that it took your death for me to realize how much I had taken you for granted. You were always there from the time I was so young and into womanhood that I believe I always assumed you would be in my life. I knew it was probable we would marry, you were the right choice, the good choice, the proper choice, but I would not have been happen in such rightness and I would have in turn made you unhappy. _

_I did care for you so, I did love you in a way. A part of me will never forgive myself for what I had done to you, even if I know you would not wish me to feel such a thing. We all made so many wrong choices, made so many turns and now can we say we were all given a truly happy ending?_

_Do you know, I am with child. A few months along and yet it will still be nearly nine and half years before Will and I can meet again? Through my fidelity lays his freedom but it saddens me how much time he will miss with his child. _

_Can you see us all where you are? I have hoped you are not suffering in Davy Jones' locker, and yet sometimes wonder with a fraction of hope if in that case you could be retrieved but...when returning and saw my father and could not bring him back with us because he was at peace I wonder if it is the same with you. If you are at peace, I could not bring you back and it would not be fair I think. You deserve peace, James Norrington, and I would not dare to bring you pain and ruin once more._

_I have decided that if I have a boy, I will give him your name. You deserve that much. James William Turner. I will tell him about his namesake, a man most brave and honorable. A good man. I so wish you could see him when the time comes! Had you lived, would you..could you move on with your life, meet another woman...would you have been devoted to me until the end? Part of me selfishly is fond of the idea, but I know it is highly unfair._

_All I have now is what ifs._

_And so I will place this letter in an empty bottle, and throw it to the sea and hope it reaches you wherever you are, may Calypso be so kind to deliver. _

_I wish you well James Norrington._

_May we someday all meet again when the adventure is truly over and we can begin a new one in the afterlife._

_With Love,_

_Elizabeth _


End file.
